365 Life Lessons
by Chiiharu
Summary: It's a new year and we've got to start fresh. There's 365 things you should know, however. They're life lessons, and they're coming at you fast. Lesson 26: Never make a promise you might not ever be able to keep.
1. Bomb Squad Pranks

**A/N:** I am going to kill myself, guys. This right here is the beginning of a continuous fic—one of which will be updated every day of 2010. I can do it, because I'm just that awesome. This is also the start of 365 life lessons that everyone should keep with them. For example, when you're going to take pictures of bears, firearms win over cameras. All the time. No questions asked. Just _don't_ go unarmed. XD

Some of these will be short, others will be really long, but you can almost guarantee that you'll learn something from them. Also: demotivational posters save lives, because this first one is where I got my first life lesson from.

There's some humor and some romance and... Bah. Everything.

* * *

January | 1st | 2010

Bomb Squad Pranks.

You know when he's done craping himself, he's going to beat the crap out of _you._

_._

Pai had the _perfect_ amount of concentration.

Finally he was able to get the silence he needed to get his work done. Sitting in his swivel chair, he focused every amount of his being into his project. Kish peeked through the doorway, a mischievous grin on his face. "Pai works so hard, I think I should make him smile," Kish declared to himself, smiling coyly.

Smirking, Kish walked towards his busy partner, his hands hidden behind his back. "Pai! What are you working on?" Pai instantly picked up the fake interest in Kish's voice. Not turning around, he waved his hand in the air.

"I'm working on a new device. I picked up a human magazine and read about how they still use primal bombs. I want to see if I can enhance this technology and use it to help us destroy the Mew Mews." Pai didn't so much as to look at Kish when he told him that. Kish's grin only seemed to grow wider as he played with something behind his back.

"Bombs make loud explosions, right? Is that what you're talking about?" Kish asked, the same forced interest heavy in his voice. Pai closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn't do anything without Kish or Tart breathing down his neck, could he? That was the harsh reality he had to live with. Still, he diligently worked on his device, determined to answer everything Kish had asked him if it meant that the green-haired alien would leave him alone for _at least_ two minutes.

"Yes Kish, bombs make loud sounds."

"And they—_ha_—blow people up?" Kish said, trying to hide his excitement.

"By 'blowing people up', you mean 'explode', yes?"

Kish readied himself. He put his hands in front of him and revealed what looked to be a brown paper bag. The way he held the bag in his hand guaranteed that it had air it it. His free hand was ready to unleash hell. "So what would you do if a bomb went off next to you?"

"It would not touch me, I would simply teleport out of the way," Pai stated, matter-of-factly. "Now would you please—"

_POP!_

Like magic, Pai_ flew_ out of his seat and jumped into the air. Almost immediately after, Kish fell back on the floor laughing almost like he was drunk. Tart ran into the room, eying everything he could see. "What was that?! What happened?! Did something fall over?!" Kish knew that he couldn't stay on the floor for too long. He was going to get scolded. Scolded_ really _badly. Pai turned around and noticed the bits of brown paper bag all over the room.

"Run Tart, don't just stand there!"

"Why?" the youngest of the three asked, not really comprehending what had just happened.

"Because a bomb is about to go off!" Kish stumbled off the ground and tried to make it towards the door. He ran past Tart and disappeared from their sight. Pai sighed, picked up his chair, and got back to work.

He was the only one who was actually worried about completing their objective, after all.

.

Lesson learned? Bombs are big business. Don't take them lightly. They'll turn on you too.


	2. Sleep

**A/N:** I am sleepy. XD

I am really sleepy. So you know what today's life lesson is? Read on, folks.

* * *

January | 2nd | 2010

Sleep.

It's like death, only not as permanent.

**.**

_Somebody_ had to do the cleaning in the laboratory, and Ryou surely wasn't going to let the girls near _any _of his equipment. It wasn't like he hated them or anything; he liked having the girls around—even Ichigo—though he would never admit it. There was just one thing he couldn't have around his equipment.

Their _clumsiness_.

The only exception to this rule was Zakuro because she was nowhere near the word 'clumsy'. She was far away from the word, in fact. Lettuce was clumsy even though she tried really hard not to be. The first thing that popped into Ryou's head when he thought of Lettuce's clumsiness? Broken dishes. Lots of broken dishes. Pudding was just spastic clumsy. Don't get me wrong, Pudding knew how to keep her balance, but she'd have these rare occasions in which she'd direct her attention to something entirely different and break something.

Pudding's clumsiness? Broken dishes. Ryou thought of broken dishes.

Ichigo's clumsiness? It was _disastrous. _Chaotic. Puppies exploded. Flowers died. Trees fell. He could come up with at least a million things to describe her clumsiness. How come she couldn't be more careful? How come she couldn't work like the others? At least they did things around the cafe. If Ryou had a dime for every time Ichigo blamed her clumsiness on her lack-of-sleep...

Sleep. That was what she said repeatedly made her trip, fall, stumble, tip over and do many other 'Ichigo' things. She complained that Ryou wouldn't let her get enough sleep because he'd rush her to get to the cafe on time. She wanted to slam it inside of the blonde's head that he was the reason why she was so clumsy during her time as one of Cafe Mew Mew's waitresses. Every time he yelled at her, she would get _even more_ sleepy. Or so she said.

One thing was for sure, Ryou _couldn't_ be clumsy cleaning his lab.

There was just one problem...

He was really tired, just like Ichigo had complained she'd been all those long work days. _'Oh great, she's haunting me...'_

Trying really hard to make it down the steps, he successfully conquered each rectangular obstacle in his way. Everything truly looked hazy to him. Now he was starting to believe that everything Ichigo said about lack-of-sleep was right. Ryou dared to take one step forward and almost immediately fell over. He could never let Ichigo know that he thought she was right for once. It would be _embarrassing_.

He saw a big silver object in front of him so he decided to walk towards it. Passing many blurry things that he couldn't make out, he finally put his hands on what appeared to be a silver cabinet. "I forgot the broom, didn't I...?" Ryou said to himself. Sighing, he turned around to retrieve the cleaning utensil. Problem was... The broom was upstairs.

That meant he would have to walk up the steps.

It was okay though.

He wasn't Lettuce, Pudding, or even Ichigo.

There would be no broken dishes for him. There would be no chaos, puppies would live, flowers would look healthy and trees would stay planted inside of the ground. Feeling sure about himself, Ryou took another step forward.

Only this time he fell.

Fortunately for him, he caught his balance. He had reached for something red. Something circle-shaped. And that was when it hit him. He woke out of his sleepy state to stare face-to-face at a gun of some sort pointed right at him. He quickly glanced back at the button he was pressing. It was official. It was the Red Data DNA injection button under his hand... And he just_ pressed_ it.

This was worse than broken dishes and dead puppies.

Quickly sprinting up the steps, Ryou closed the basement door behind him at the sound of the machine going off.

It was true; lack-of-sleep made people clumsy.

The situation could have ended way worse than it did.

**.**

Lesson learned? It's the beginning of the year. All you old people need sleep, yo. Go to bed, or you'll end up turned into a scary giraffe/elephant/goat Mew Mew.


	3. Homework

**A/N:** Guys. XD

I realize I'm going to need some help here. You can all start requesting things now. It's already the third and I'm going so slow. I'll write your OCs lessons and stuff... And pairings if you request such things. XD To answer Cynical Wolf's question, I'm going to do that at some point, aren't I right? You can request something if you want, actually. XD

* * *

January | 3rd | 2010

Homework.

What doesn't kill you... Devours your soul.

**.**

Around the time Ryou learned his lesson, Lettuce came to a horrible realization. The new year had come... That was all great and dandy, but soon she would have to go back to school.

In fact, she would have to go back to school and turn in_ all_ of her homework.

All of her _unfinished _homework, mind you. And she had exactly two hours to do so. It was three AM in the morning and Lettuce had most of her books opened on top of her desk. She had five sheets of quadratic functions to do, three English essays to write, two cell diagrams to complete and she had to find her school ID. Her eyes were bloodshot red and she wasn't wearing her glasses. This was going to turn out really bad.

Lettuce's pencil was setting the papers on her desk _on fire_. She was moving at a fast pace, determined not to let her grades slip in school. Her books stacked way over her head. How could she have let this happen? She usually did things ahead of time. There was no way she could have spontaneously forgotten to do all of those things.

She couldn't give up! There was still some time left, if any at all! Miraculously, Lettuce finished all of her math homework in record breaking speeds. To top all of that off, everything was written neatly and legibly. Her math teacher wouldn't suspect a thing.

Now she had hit a bump in her plans.

The English essays.

There was no way she could BS her way through three of them. It was way too early for that. Lettuce stared at the lined-paper in front of her for a while. _'Why do people give homework on holiday breaks...?' _No, she couldn't think like that. Teachers gave homework on holiday breaks because they _loved _their students. Her teachers obviously cared about her, and if she didn't do their assignments, she'd basically be spitting in their faces. Now she was trembling almost. The green-haired teenager never meant to make anyone mad!

And then when she got to school, everyone would depend on her to give them the answers to the same homework that they didn't do _themselves_.

She hated when people asked her for answers and thought that was reason enough not to do the homework all together. But she had no choice. She couldn't fail because the general public would use her. She clutched the paper with her topic on it and sighed. "Do you think we should stop driving cars to protect the community? Why or... Why not...?" Honestly, who cared? All Lettuce cared about was getting her work done on time. Writing an incoherent thesis, she decided she should have just lost all hope.

She slammed her head on her desk.

Rather hard, actually.

As a result, the stack of books on her desk tumbled over sideways.

Poor Lettuce was bombarded with books. The sound was loud enough to wake mountains out of their places. She arose from under the book avalanche and saw something peculiar within the pile. There, staring right at her, was her homework folder. It was filled to the brim. Smiling, she grabbed her homework and got ready for school the next day.

.

Lesson learned? Holy crap, nobody wants to do things over _twice_. If you have homework over the break, do it! Do not wait until the last minute! Because you _will_ fail and have multiple books dropped on your head.


	4. Pole Licking

**A/N:** Couldn't resist this one, guys. XD Just couldn't do it. XD

A friend of mine did this today.

Stupid, stupid boy. XD

* * *

January | 4th | 2010

Pole licking.

C'mon. You know you _really_ want to.

**.**

"Go ahead, Tart."

"Kish, I'm not too sure about this. Are you sure it tastes like the sweetest thing in the world?"

"Of course, of course! It's like nothing you've _ever_ tasted!"

Hesitatingly, Tart walked up to the frozen streetlight-pole planted firmly in the ground. He wasn't from Earth so he wouldn't know what frozen pole actually_ tasted_ like. Kish said it was to _die_ for and he knew more about human stuff than he did. Kish, knowing full-well what he was doing, smiled coyly behind the younger Cyniclon's back.

"It doesn't smell like it tastes like anything..." Tart said, having second thoughts. This had to work for Kish. He was thinking about doing this for the whole day. His plan was _so _amusing to him, he even forgot about Ichigo for a short while.

"Pai's done it before!" Kish declared triumphantly, surprised that he could come up with a lie that fast. "In fact, when we get to the ship you should tell Pai all about this!" Kish smirked. Now his plan wasn't doomed to fall. He almost lost it when he saw Taruto leaning towards the pole, his tongue sticking out of his mouth. To a human, it was really cold outside. There was snow everywhere on the ground. There was even snow_ falling_. To we humans, Taruto was basically trying to commit suicide. With every inch the younger alien got closer to the pole, Kish leaned towards the brown-haired Cyniclon, wanting to witness this 'suicide' up-close.

"Wait," Tart said. "Are you sure it tastes good? Because most of the things you like are horrible!"

Kish immediately stood up straight when Tart turned around. "What do you mean?"

"Like that pink Mew_ grandma_ thing you're always playing around with! And the way you pick at your toes and make really weird stances when you're floating around in the air! Why should I think anything you like tastes good?" Kish couldn't believe Tart had just said that. He instantly scowled. Why, Ichigo was the most beautiful thing Kish had ever seen in his life! Who was he to judge? Tart wouldn't know beauty if it killed him sideways!

"Just... Just hurry up and lick the pole!" Kish shouted. Tart blinked and decided to go with it. It couldn't hurt to just give the pole a try. He leaned in and his tongue made contact with the frozen pole.

It. Was. Tasteless!

Kish had_ lied_ to him!

Feeling confusion and a lot of rage, Tart wanted to turn around but was woefully stuck to the pole. Kish overflowed with laughter; first tears rained out of his eyes and then he clutched his stomach. "Does it taste good, Tart?" Unable to answer in a coherent sentence, the only real thing that could be made out was his loud "Pai!" Like magic, Pai appeared next to Kish and squinted at what he saw. He face-palmed.

"Kish did you make Tart lick that pole?"

"I couldn't help it, Pai. You know I'm just having a little fun with him!"

Pai's eyebrow twitched and he folded his arms. "And you... Made him _lick a pole?"_

"Exactly!" Kish chimed, floating in the air and rotating upside down. "I'm going to tell my Koneko-chan about all of this! I'll catch you guys later!" Kish disappeared in thin air and left the poor, screaming Tart for Pai to handle.

The problem was... How was he going to separate his tongue from the pole? Tart watched in horror as he pictured all the extreme levels of pain he would have to endure.

**.**

Lesson learned? There_ is _a such thing as tongue amputation, guys. Frozen pole, I imagine, tastes_ just like frozen pole._


	5. Driving

**A/N:** Guess who has Driver's ED. This guy. And my school sucks for making me take it. Before we start this life lesson, I should answer some questions. To Elena: For that 3rd chapter, Lettuce had done her homework and just forgotten about it. XD But you can think whatever you want~. I like to leave things open for sequels, you see.

And yeah. I'll write you a Lettuce/Pai somewhere in this... Thing. XD

I haven't written it before, so hopefully when I write it I won't suck? XD

And don't worry, Lexie. I'll warn you, but _I'm not_ doing one where Ichigo is dumped by Masaya. I see no reason for him to, and if I did, I'd do it the right way.

I'm pretty neutral towards all these pairings too, but FOR THE SAKE OF CHARACTERIZATION (Because we all know Chiharu values her characterization! ;D) I won't do it, Lexie, sorry.

* * *

January | 5th | 2010

Driving

Women. They shouldn't drive.

.

"This is an expensive car Pudding," Ryou said, pushing the button that released his seat belt. Pudding sat in the backseat—no—she _jumped around _in the backseat of his red sports car, looking out of the window with very shiny eyes.

Everything was so shiny!

The leather was shiny!

The windows were shiny!

Ryou's hair was shiny—oh wait, his hair was _always _shiny.

But it was shiny in his shiny car, and that's all Pudding really cared about. "So I'm going to need you to behave while I run inside the store and grab more supplies for the cafe."

Pudding nodded her head, clapped her hands together and squealed. "Pudding's got it, na no da! No one will mess with Ryou's car on Pudding's watch!" Ryou sighed, running his fingers through his glossy hair. Why did he get the feeling something bad was going to happen? The girls were at the cafe working diligently, but Pudding wanted to come with him to get icing for some reason. He couldn't say no to the poor girl, could he?

No, it was more like he couldn't say no to the poor girl because Pudding _gave him no choice but to bring her with him._

The monkey Mew Mew was _devious._

More devious than she let on.

With big, wide, watery eyes she spun her plates gracefully on her head and arms, pleading silently with Ryou to take her. But the blonde-haired scientist wasn't that easy to fool. He arched an eyebrow and the two had a staring contest for a while before he finally broke down to her tactics.

Ryou walked out of the car, hopeful that Pudding wouldn't do anything reckless. The girl watched the blonde walk away in glee and immediately jumped in the front seat.

"He left his keys, na no da!"

Twisting the jangly items, the ignition turned on. Pudding started bouncing up and down, feeling the reverberation of the engine. Her smile got wider.

As a monkey, she was supposed to be curious, right?

Pudding grabbed the steering wheel with both of her hands, pretending to drive down the street. This was the most fun she had in a long time! "Ryou wouldn't mind if Detective Pudding went and solved some crimes in her super fast car na no da!"

Lethargically, Pudding slumped down in her seat, barely able to see through the window. She pressed a whole lot of buttons, turning the AC on. This was the life. Ryou drove this wondrous thing around? It had a free chair massager, air conditioning, and it was the perfect vehicle for 'Detective Pudding' to use!

"Pudding? Pudding? Are you in there?!"

There was no doubt about it. That was Ryou's voice and he couldn't see that she was in the front seat. Pudding didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but he couldn't know that she was messing with his car...

She ducked down until she was right next to the pedals. Her body was compact enough to fit down there. She planned to go underneath the seat and pop up right in the backseat of his car. Pudding was going to move... But how? She was _stuck_, for lack of a better word. Moving her foot, she accidentally pressed on the gas pedal. Ryou ran up to the car and his eyes widened at what he saw.

He was going to press his hands against the glass to see if Pudding was in there, but his car took off before he could do so.

It wasn't his _car_ he was just worried about. No, he could buy another if he wanted to.

It was _Pudding_, who was probably going to be severely injured. "Pudding!" he yelled, chasing down his car with bags of icing in his arms.

Some things never get old.

_**.**_

Lesson learned? Dudes. Teachers. Brothers and sisters! You have a higher chance of dying in a car than in an airplane. You know what we should take? Pilot's ED. Because driving planes around would look effing cool.


	6. Chili Beans

**A/N:** … I almost put January 56th there, guys. XD

I'm so serious, man. I came up with this like... On the spot.

My SLA teacher is getting reckless. Studies in Language Arts. My honors English teacher. I'm suppose to be doing an 11-paged paper on my future career. Got mind-bombed looking for sources today and read a crap load of pages. My eyes burned. I'm struggling, guys. But I am determined to beat the system! :D

* * *

January | 6th | 2010

Chili Beans.

Not good for your pants.

**.**

It was every girl's dream, but now it was Minto's reality!

Zakuro was actually going to _teach_ her how she danced. Minto had arrived at the dance studio early. Very early in fact. _Four hours_ early, to be precise. Every other time Minto had asked Zakuro to show her how to dance majestically like she did, Zakuro would have to turn her down. It wasn't everyday that a star like Zakuro had free time to spend with a friend.

But today?

_This_ day?

This was something completely different. Minto clapped her hands together as she saw her idol walk through the double doors, dressed in her leotard. Minto thought she could die happy now. Holding her breath (really, holding her breath) Minto tried to stand as still as possible.

Zakuro made her way to the middle of the stage. She sighed and glanced at Minto, who was trying her best to watch the star.

Immediately, Zakuro launched into a graceful fouetté en tournant, spinning as if she had done it five-hundred times over. Miraculously, she employed a demi-grand rond de jambe. Minto couldn't believe that Zakuro had all of that talent. Well, she _knew _Zakuro had endless amounts of talent... She just couldn't believe that she was getting to watch it all up close and take part of it.

And soon that would be_ her_ doing sur le cou-de-pieds and sway backs.

Zakuro had a lot of endurance too. It seemed like she could keep dancing for days and not get tired. Minto wanted to be _just_ like her—nothing more, nothing less._ Exactly_ like her.

Unable to hold her breath for much longer, Minto inhaled a bundle of air. Zakuro stopped dancing and turned towards the bird Mew Mew. "Okay, now you try Minto," she said, stepping back and giving Minto the floor. The blue-haired girl took three steps forward, knowing that she would never be as good as Zakuro.

"But Zakuro-sama, you'll always be better than me!"

"How do I know that Minto-chan? I haven't even seen you dance yet." She paused, motioning her left hand. "Go on now, nothing is stopping you." Feeling encouraged by the purple-haired teenager's words, Minto closed her eyes. Now what could she do that would make her surprise Zakuro? She couldn't do anything silly and she couldn't do anything too hard...

Minto couldn't let her know that she was trying really hard to impress her.

The bird Mew Mew had finally made a decision. She lifted her leg up, preparing to spin her life away to the song in her head.

_Brrrrrupt._

Minto eyes widened. What... Was that...?

_What was that sound?!_

Her cheeks instantly turned red and she did not want to look towards Zakuro. Minto wanted to put her leg down, and so she did.

_Brpt. _

Again? Minto was sweating really badly now. _'Tell me this isn't happening in front of Zakuro-onesama...'_

"Go ahead, Minto-chan. It's just gas."

Right, _just_ gas. Just gas in front of Zakuro.

Next time, Minto was going to just skip lunch all together. Minto sighed, beginning her dancing with a frown on her face.

Her day was ruined.

.

Lesson learned? Beans, beans, the magical fruit! The more you eat the more you poot!


	7. Snow

**A/N:** So tell me why, I'm going to go to school, and then this life lesson happened to me, of all people!!

See guys, we learn from these things!

What am I talking about? You'll see. XD

* * *

January | 7th | 2010

Snow.

It's God's way of saying he hates you.

**.**

Ichigo, equipped and ready to go, tightened her grip around her suitcase handle. Today she was going to attempt to walk to school. Unfortunately, she had early classes so she had to walk to school everyday at 6AM. It was still completely dark outside but everything was covered in a white, sparkly blanket of fresh snow. Pulling down her pink, cat-eared hat and tying her pink scarf around her neck, she opened her front door.

When she looked outside through her window, everything was beautiful.

When she opened the front door, everything looked absolutely_ stunning_.

Even the streets were covered in the soft snow. The Ichigo glanced at the street lights and saw that there was still snow falling from the heavens above. The snow crystals were so tiny... So compact that the only way you could see them was with a hint of light.

Ichigo put her hands out in amazement and watched her gloves start to twinkle. This was some of the best snow she had ever seen.

She almost wanted to stay in one spot, staring in awe at the wonderful phenomenon that was the snow.

The cat Mew turned her head to the left and everything seemed to sparkle _more so_.

She knew that she couldn't stand there forever and took one step forward. She imagined that the snow would feel like the best snow on the planet. It was sparkly, it was fresh, it was just the right amount of cold... Surely snow like that couldn't of been bad?

All of a sudden, Ichigo felt her body tumbling downwards. It was like slow motion; first the sky turned into the ground, and then the air turned into the snow. She had face planted head-first into the ground, getting a taste of such 'wonderful' snow. She got up and sputtered a little, her face completely red.

"Okay, that was an accident, I'm so happy no one was there to see that—nyaa!!" Again Ichigo fell, trying to attempt to take another step.

She glanced around. Third times the charm?

Ichigo's legs started shaking as she tried to maintain her balance. She took one step forward, and then three steps forward, and then—_'I'm walking! I'm really walking!' _Smiling, Ichigo made it all the way down the street, clapping her hands in joy.

Wait. Clapping her hands?

"My suitcase!! Oh nyaaa, I must have left it when I first fell!"

**.**

Lesson learned? _All _snow is unforgiving! But the sparkly kind? It's evil.


	8. Food Names

**A/N:** Okay. XD

So this is short.

But is packed with funny, right? XD

* * *

January | 8th | 2010

Food Names.

Where is your tongue now?!

Kish needed a pick-me-up.

Not any regular old pick-me-up either.

He needed something strong. Something that tasted good. He could have just teleported out of the ship but he was _really_ sick. Pai restricted Kish to strict bed rest. He had a human virus.

A _human virus. _

Tart put numerous locks around Kish's room door. Did they really think they could confine him to such a small area? Smirking, he got out of his bed and simply teleported to the other side of the room. There was one thing that had been eating at the green-haired alien. Why was Pai's name... Pai? Did he taste like pie? Assuming that he did taste like pie, that was_ exactly_ what Kish needed.

With his objective set, he slowly walked down the hallway, finding Pai at his usual spot. He was always so deeply absorbed with his work.

Kish took two steps back.

It was now or never, and he was hungry _now. _

Inhaling a huge breath, Kish screamed, "Paaaaaaaaaai!" The green haired alien ran across the room and Pai quickly turned his head around, only to be welcomed to a ravenous Kish with his mouth latched on top Pai's head.

"Ew... You don't taste like pie..." Kish carped, folding his arms. "That little... Tart lied to me!!"

Sometimes, Pai just wondered why he even bothered.

**.**

Lesson learned? Don't give yourself a name that sounds like food. Because people will want to taste you.


	9. Swallowing Your Gum

**A/N:** I really don't have anything to say on this day. XD

... But I feel like it'd be really bare if I didn't write an A/N.

Who likes gum? XD

Anyone?

* * *

January | 9th | 2010

Swallowing Your Gum.

The outcome is horrific.

**.**

It was like any other day in the Cyniclon's ship. They tried to fight the Mews, get owned, and ran back to home sweet home. Pai did what he always did; went to his room to devise a better plan using all of his statistics and things. Kish saw an opportunity. Tart looked like he didn't know where he was going, so the playful, green-haired alien slung his arm around the younger alien's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Tart?" he asked with a sly grin.

"Tch! I just don't get why that yellow Mew keeps following me around! I wish she would just stop that already! Now I know how that grandma pink Mew feels about you." In all honesty, Tart wasn't trying to insult Kish—he was telling the truth. No one wanted another person breathing down their neck at all times. And plus, Pudding had germs. He did not want germs to crawl all over his body. Ignoring Tart's comment, Kish stopped, causing Tart to stop walking as well.

"Guess what, Tart?" Kish said, waving his free hand across the air. Now he would get his revenge. Tart would rue the day in which he made him latch onto Pai's head. "You like gum, right?"

"It's okay..." Tart shrugged.

"Good. Well you know what happens when you swallow your gum?" Tart blinked and looked up at the older alien.

"Umm... No?" Kish smiled and pulled out a pack of 5 gum. He opened it and offered a piece to Tart. Reluctantly, Tart took a piece and popped it into his mouth. It was watermelon-flavored.

"Never swallow your gum, Tart. Or bad things will happen to you!" Tart stopped chewing for a moment and looked at Kish.

"What... What do you mean 'bad things'?"

"Scared?" Kish mocked, floating in mid-air and snickering to himself. Tart stomped his foot down.

"Of course not! Now what were you saying about bad things?" Kish popped a piece of gum inside of his mouth and started walking the other way.

"You'll figure it out, Tart! But you have to chew the gum fast from now on. Fifty times every second," he said. Tart's jaw dropped and he started chewing like mad. Kish just laughed as he walked off. Now what was Tart going to do? He couldn't think because he was chewing his gum really hard.

He was chewing his gum at the _speed of sound_.

Tart made it to his room door, but that's when he noticed his jaw was getting really tired. Kish had never told him when he'd have to stop chewing his gum. Did he spit it out? Would the gum be mad at him and punish him? Frantic, Tart ran towards Kish's room and burst through the door.

What Tart saw was horrifying.

Kish had managed to change into a black leotard and he had his hair pulled back. He wore pink arm-sweatbands and he was in a squatting position. The two stared at each other for the longest.

No... Kish's outfit wasn't what scared him.

It was what Kish was _sitting on_. It looked like a big giant white bubble... And he was squating on it...

"No! Kish! You swallowed the gum!! Pai!!! Save Kish, he's dying!"

Little did Tart know, it was only a work out ball. At least it saved Kish some embarrassment.

**.**

Lesson learned? Swallow your gum, and you will form a giant bubble underneath your butt. Sounds sexy, right?


	10. Glue

January | 10th | 2010

Glue

That's it's job. It sticks to things.

.

Ichigo yawned. It was another boring day at work and she had nothing to amuse her. Minto sat at her regular table and drank tea, Pudding spun plates, Lettuce was busy getting orders and Zakuro was around the cafe as well. She leaned on her broom stick...

And without knowing it she hit the ground with a thud. Everyone in the cafe started to look at her and she blushed instantly.

"Nyaa..." she said, scratching her head.

Something touched her hand and she instantly jumped. It was Ryou and he was pulling her up, the same bored yet amused look on his face. "You were sleeping on the job again. Guess I'm going to have to deducted your pay, baka-Strawberry." She pouted and tried to take her hand away from his...

But it was stuck?

What? why?

Ryou noticed this too and they both stared at their hands. "Let go of me, Ryou! And you can't deduct my pay! I've been working all day!"

"Can't you see that we're glued together, Ichigo?" he replied. "I don't know how glue got on my hand—a powerful solution at that—"

"Nya?! We're glued together?"

"Hush, Ichigo. We have customers in here, remember?" Ichigo pouted. Now not only did she have to stay at the cafe, but she had to stay glued to Ryou for who knows how long.

There was no telling how long they'd be stuck. "I think you did this on purpose, nya! I think you wanted to hold my hand!"

"Don't be ridiculous baka-Strawberry," he said. "Now follow me into the kitchen so I can see if we'll come undone."

**.**

Lesson learned? Never sleep during the job, and never place glue in places where you know you can touch it.


	11. Slamming Doors

**A/N:** Hey guys. XD

This one's a drabble. I'm kinda getting the hang of this drabble stuff! :D

* * *

January | 11th | 2010

Slamming Doors.

You don't want to make doors angry. They have feelings too.

**.**

Ryou was running maintenance on the cafe. It had been another long night... A night in which he had forgotten to check if all the doors were working. In his pajamas, he grabbed the knob of his door, opened it, and shut it as hard as he could.

Okay, good, everything worked just fine.

He just had one more door to check, but first he had to get out of his room. He was going to leave, but something... Or someone swung his door wide open, hitting him _hard_ in the face and sending him tumbling backwards.

Ryou automatically grabbed his noes, bleeding a little from the impact.

Who was that?!

Standing in front of the doorway was a worried Keiichiro who hadn't noticed he just punched Ryou's face in with a door.

**.**

Lesson learned? Doors can feel it when you slam them. Sometimes you make them cry. Someday they may want revenge.


	12. Soap

**A/N:** Hi guys! XD Can I have fun with some drabbles?

Like seriously, I can't write short things for my life and this is really helping me! They'll be longer soon! XD

* * *

January | 12th | 2010

Soap.

Watch were you place it.

**.**

Wow, this was a sight that every fangirl on the planet would have_ payed_ to see.

"Ah! Nice and clean for my Koneko-chan!" came the voice of Kish, drying his hair with his towel. He was still standing in the tub. Now all he had to do was step out of it. He took one step forward and that was his biggest mistake.

He stepped on a bar of soap.

A_ wet_ bar of soap.

He slid across the the entire bathroom, hitting the wall, and then somehow he bounced off the wall and managed to crash into the bathroom window.

"Kish what are you—"

The two aliens _stared_ at each other. Pai and Kish exchanged glances, neither one of them wanting to answer the other. Silently, Pai turned back around and closed the door.

**.**

Lesson learned? Heck, Chiharu is running out of taglines. No, of course not. In Soviet Russia, soap cleans YOU! XD


	13. Hot Soup

**A/N:** Hey, guys!

Pretty much, these lessons are made up on the spot. XD So platinumstraberry56, don't worry, they'll be more Ryou funny stuff. XD I wish these things didn't eat up like twenty minutes of my time everyday. Because they take twenty minutes to write, really. *shrug*

* * *

January | 13th | 2010

Hot Soup.

It's hot, you're not, don't try it.

**.**

Ichigo watched the steam escape from her bowl of alphabet soup. She was really sick and her dad decided to make her alphabet soup. _Alphabet _soup. The most generic brand of soup ever made. And it came straight out of the can. He forgot that Ichigo was allergic to the stuff. She tried to protest against it, but he ended up locking Ichigo inside of her room. Sighing, Ichigo slid down in her chair. What was she going to do now...

"Hi, Koneko-chan!"

"Nya!!" Ichigo screamed, jumping on top of her computer desk. She looked behind her to face a smiling Kish. She hissed, just like her cat DNA wanted her to do. "Kish, get out of my room! Get out of my house nya!" He floated around her, smiling playfully.

"Aww, why? I just came to give you my love, Koneko-chan!"

Ichigo was going to say something to him; say something that would have gotten through that head of his, but she had another plan. Maybe she could kill two _icky _things with one stone... Without a second thought, Ichigo grabbed the bowl of soup and offered it to Kish with her head bowed down.

"Please Kish? It would make me happy if you ate it! I'll even give you a... Kiss and go to your planet with you." Ichigo cringed and looked the other way, hoping he would take the soup. Her eyes started twitching at how hot the bowl was.

"Thinking things my way, hmm Koneko-chan? I'll make sure to make you mine." He took the bowl without any hesitation, drinking the concoction down with one gulp. Ichigo was waiting for him to blow up, but that didn't happen at all. Kish wiped his mouth and stepped closer towards the cat Mew. She backed up, knowing she couldn't transform in her own house.

"Now Koneko, I—" He paused. Then his eyes started watering and his whole face turned red.

"Yes, nya!" Ichigo exclaimed.

Kish's screams could be heard all over Tokyo. His whole body was hot but his mouth was screaming in pain. What did she just give him?!

And that, my friend... Is the story of the hot soup.

**.**

Lesson learned? Hot soup is hot. But _alphabet_ soup is nasty. Also, this is how Kish got sick in Food Names.


	14. Birthday Cake

**A/N:** Guys, in this span of fourteen days, I've written about...

25k. XD

It's like I'm doing NaNo all over again~~ XD

* * *

January | 14th | 2010

Birthday Cake.

Because some times, you just want to put your face in it.

**.**

It was Ryou's birthday today and everyone was huddle up around the the cafe table. Against his will, everyone voted to make him take a birthday picture—they wanted to see him smile in front of his delicious looking cake. The girls even helped Keiichiro make it for him.

"This was nice... Of you guys," Ryou sighed. He knew he wouldn't be able to eat such a perfect looking cake. Maybe he was wrong about all of the girls. Maybe they weren't clumsy at all. Ichigo even managed to make her hands steady enough to draw strawberries on it.

And he thought they all forgot...

"Don't blow out your candles yet, Shirogane-sama!" Lettuce said, bring out more delectables from the kitchen. Problem was, the dishes were stacked over her eyes and she fell.

Not only did she fall, but the tower of food fell too.

Fell_ forward_, that is.

Before Ryou had time to react to the sound of dishes bring broken, he was bombarded with the food items, sent propelling forward, and face-planted into the cake.

.

Lesson learned? No matter what the situation... _always _act like a ninja.


	15. Pencils

January | 15th | 2010

Pencils.

If guns kill people, do pencils misspell words?

.

Frustrated, Kish sharpened his pencil into the cheep pencil sharper and Tart just watched him in amusement. Ever time Kish would put his pencil on top of the paper, the lead would break—much to Kish's horror.

He tried over and over again, getting more and more frustrated until the god of pencils lent him a hand!

By George, the pencil didn't break this time!

"Yes!" Kish exclaimed, jumping up into the air. Tart smiled... But only a little. His revenge would be sweet. Tart had a sharp pencil tucked in between his fingers... No one would see it, not even Kish. Tart was clever; he sharpened it little-by-little when Kish was yelling in frustration.

"Hi-five!" Tart declared with a smile. Kish took the offer with no hesitance. He slapped Tart's hand as hard as he could in victory.

"Yaaaaaa!! Ouch, ouch, ouch!!" Kish stopped jumping up and down and looked at the palm of his hand. Without even looking at Tart, he ran out in the hallway.

"Pai! I have a splinter!!"

**.**

Lesson learned? For the guy who's trying to steal my job and stuff... It's 'YAAAAAAAAH'. Not 'Yaaaaaaa'.


	16. Giant Spiders

**A/N:** My birthday's on Sunday! XD

What are you guys gonna get me?

* * *

January | 16th | 2010

Giant Spiders.

Everyone's afraid of them. _Everyone._

**.**

"Ichigo, you sleep all the time, how don't you expect me to deduct your pay?"

Ichigo wasn't really paying all too much attention to the blonde boy. Today she was really sleepy. She hadn't exactly recovered from the last Chimera Anima attack. She couldn't even understand what Ryou was saying anymore. Everything that came out of his mouth sounded more or less like _"Blah, blah, Ichigo you should blah, blah, blah..."_

It was the same thing over and over again.

But sometimes an extra 'blah' was thrown in, just for extra emphasis.

"You look so sleepy now I feel like you're just going to topple over..."

Now the 'blahs' were coming out at high speeds.

Wait, was there something shiny attaching itself on Ryou's head? No wait—that could have easily just been a lock of his greasy hair.

Ichigo yawned and took a closer look.

".. NYA THAT'S THE BIGGEST SPIDER I'VE EVER SEEN!!"

Without even saying anything, Ryou patted his head, automatically thinking it was on it. For whatever reason he felt the need to look behind him and tumbled down the basement's steps.

"... Look at that poor spider on the wall... Nya, Ryou you should—Ryou?"

Ichigo looked for him, but couldn't find him anywhere.

Oh well, back to sleeping for her!

**.**

Lesson learned? No matter what you do, where you go, there will _always_ be evil squirrels.


	17. Rock Music

**A/N:** It be my birthday today, guys!

And look, I'm writing something that happened to me again! XD

* * *

January | 17th | 2010

Rock Music.

It's good for the soul. Chicken soul, that is.

**.**

Pai was curious.

He never did understand why Kish liked so many human things. And apparently, Kish had left some sort of contraption on top of Pai's desk. It was rectangular in size—small and green—and had a little screen on it. Picking the device up, Pai turned it around and saw an apple sign on the back of it. The purple-haired alien turned it around and saw that it had some sort of headphones coming out of it.

Curious, Pai put the headphones in his ears and pressed the button that was in the middle of the white circle.

"_I HEAR OR SEE NO EVIL, BLACK WRITING ON THE WALLS!!!"_

Pai flinched. Why would Kish have that thing up so loud?

"_UNLEASH A MILLION FACES, AND ONE BY ONE THEY FALL!!"_

However, Pai didn't take the ear buds out. This music was actually enjoyable.

_"Black hearted evil or, brave hearted hero,_ _**I AM ALL I AM ALL I AM!"**_

Pai was feeling this music. He was _really_ feeling this music.

_"I, I, I, I am~ Here we go buddy, here we go buddy here we go, here we go buddy here we go."_

Pai was feeling the music so much that he jumped out of his seat, stomping his foot down to the beat. Then he sat back in his chair and head-smashed.

Head-smashed his face straight into the desk.

.

Lesson learned? You can enjoy music, guys, but please. Don't lose any teeth. Chiharu can't pay for everyone's dental plan. Whatever that is.


	18. Burglars

**A/N:** Heeey guys! Thanks for the birthday wishes! :D

Happy late birthday, Sajintmm! This one is for YOU. XD

* * *

January | 18th | 2010

Burglars.

Because everyone needs some kind of protection.

**.**

It was a dark and stormy night.

Because all dark and stormy night stories start off like that. Lettuce was at the cafe.

Alone.

The trees outside rattled against the windows, making Lettuce hold a dish ever close to her chest. She had only agreed to stay late because she had cause such a mess in the cafe—breaking every dish she came in contact with.

Suddenly, she heard the doorknob turn.

Gulping, Lettuce slowly walked towards the door. This was it. Why—on the one day she decided to stay—did a burglar have to come and try to break in.

She wouldn't go into her Mew Mew form. No, anything but that.

Opening the door lightning fast, she aimed straight for the groin, lodging her foot in the man's oh-so-tender area. He collapsed on the ground, gasping in pain.

Another look would tell her that it was just Ryou.

**.**

Lesson learned? Men should wear cups at all times.


	19. Hill Rolling

January | 19th | 2010

Hill Rolling.

It's like high rollin', except, you know, you get hurt.

**.**

"Kish, _go home_ already!" Ichigo shouted. The green-haired alien persisted on floating next to her, following her every move as she walked home from school.

"Aww, Koneko-chan, what are you going to do if I don't go home? Give me a little kiss to make me stop?" Ichigo stopped walking and stomped her foot as hard as she could on the ground. She glanced behind her and saw a steep hill—the hill led to a lake. Maybe she could use the hill to her advantage?

"Okay Kish, fine. If you can roll down the hill, I'll give you a—_kiss_," she said, shaking. If this worked like last time when she gave Kish her nasty soup, she would get the alien out of her hair!

"You're making this way too easy, Koneko-chan! All the way down, you say?"

"Yep!" Ichigo nodded. Kish laid on the ground. He would do it if it meant being one step closer to Ichigo.

And he rolled, and rolled, and rolled down that hill...

_**SPLASH!**_

...And hit the water just as fast.

Ichigo didn't hesitate to make a run for it.

**.**

Lesson learned? Hey, did you guys know water bottles come in cans? XD


	20. Pain

January | 20th | 2010

Pain.

Not all pain is gain.

**.**

Tart couldn't believe it! They were actually letting him do something really fun! And by 'they', he meant _Kish._ Finally, Kish wasn't trying to kill him! But Tart didn't get it; what was he supposed to _do?_ Kish had him blindfolded and told him to hold a stick. A stick? What was Tart going to do with a stick?

"It's a pinata!" Kish exclaimed. "Trust me Tart, you're going to love it almost as much as I love Koneko-chan! Just swing in front of you."

Tart blinked. "But I can't see! What if I miss?!"

"That's what you get free swings for, Tart," Kish sighed, patting the younger alien on the head. The green-haired Cyniclon started laughing under his breath. Tart failed to realize that he was standing right in front of a fully loaded _beehive._

I mean, this thing was _full _of bees.

"Okay Kish, here I go!" One swing was all it took to send the bee armada out to kill Tart. He must have gotten stung about one hundred times before he took off running.

Kish laughed until he couldn't breathe anymore, shrugged, and teleported away.

**.**

Lesson learned? When you hear bees, **GTFO of there!** Sheesh, Tart.


	21. Flying

January | 21th | 2010

Flying.

I believe I can fly—

**.**

Ryou was doing it! He was actually doing it! He saw the giant chasm... A big hole that no human being would have ever hoped on crossing. But he was going to do it. He glanced into the sky—the beautiful sky that was painted a lovely combination of white and blue. He took three steps back and held his breath, leaping across the gap—swearing to himself that he had wings.

It was like slow motions—he wanted to enjoy every second of flying.

Straight into the garbage can.

His world faded and he was now laying in a pile of hot, stinky, smelly garbage.

Ichigo proceeded to laugh.

**.**

Lesson learned? Did you guys know that Chiharu writes these in five minutes? Because I do. XD


	22. Sunscreen

January | 22nd | 2010

Sunscreen.

You're doing it _wrong. _

_._

"Ichigo, I'm going to ask you to do me a favor, okay?"

"What do you want know, Shiro-baka?"

"Make sure I come out of this tanning booth on time, okay? Please don't sleep on me. Come back in an hour."

"Fine, whatever Ryou. I'll be back... While trying to work at the same time! You make me do everything around here!"

Ichigo straightened out her cafe uniform and her grip tightened on her broom. Time to get back to work.

.

"Ryou! Ryou, wake up nya, it's been exactly an hour and I'm not late!" Ichigo declared, triumphantly. She put her hands on her hips and looked at the contraption Ryou was in. She tilted her head in confusion and placed her hand on top of the machine. It opened up like lightning, smoke emerging along with a tanned Ryou. He was shirtless again—as always—and Ichigo couldn't help but blush and freak out on the inside.

But then she laughed.

And laughed.

_And laughed._

And Ryou couldn't finger out why. Attempting a facepalm, he tried to put his fingers on top of his forehead, but the slightest touch sent him into spiraling fits of pain.

"Ryou! You forgot to put sunscreen on your face!!"

**.**

Lesson learned? Success. It's not whether you win or lose... It's about how well you place the blame!


	23. Man Law 96

January | 23rd | 2010

Man Law 96.

Don't photoshop pictures of yourself posing shirtless with other men.

**.**

Pai was curious, and we all know what happens to curious people, correct? Well, he was on his laptop, typing furiously away at his keys. He wanted to know why those humans liked the site called "Facebook" so much. What was a "Facebook"? Was it a book with your face on it? Preposterous, books didn't have faces on them—or at least—that's what Pai knew.

Success! Pai had found the search bar. Curious—knowing full well he didn't have a Facebook of his own—he searched his teammates. What would Kish or Tart say if they knew he was on such a remedial site such as Facebook? He had to make this fast.

"K-i-s-h," he murmured as he typed the name in. One of the results came up as _"KiSH_is_a_SeXY_Beast"_. Pai rolled his eyes. Of course Kish would have a penname so obscene and gaudy. He clicked the link, noticing the green-haired alien's body features on his profile picture. Obviously, the first thing humans do is click on the person's pictures, so Pai did just that.

Kish had a lot of pictures with Ichigo in them—none too flattering either. They were all either of her going to kick his butt with her Strawberry Bell-Bell, or scared to death of seeing him. Mostly all the captions under them contained "This is my Koneko-chan! Doesn't she look sexy?". Pai sighed at that, too.

But the next picture?!

All coherent words were taken out of his mouth. There was a picture of Kish—shirtless. But that wasn't all. Tart was shirtless too, trying to flex his 'kid mucous', as Kish's caption implied. '_Muscles Kish, muscles', _Pai wanted to say, but at the same time he wanted to confront Kish about the picture.

The worst part about the photo?

_He_ was shirtless as well, sleep, and leaned against the wall, as if someone took off his shirt and made him stand upright against it.

And it was photo-shopped—given that final touch of green tint.

It even had their eyes blurred out!

Yes, Pai was going to yell at Kish.

**.**

Lesson learned? Posting shirtless with other men is gay. Photo-shopping afterwords is even gayer.


	24. Darkness

January | 24th | 2010

Darkness.

Whatever you do, don't be afraid of the darkness.

**.**

For whatever reason, Tart found himself secluded in a forest. Normally, he wasn't the type to be afraid of such a silly thing—he liked plants. He was the only one on his team that knew a whole lot about plants. He was more afraid of the reason why he ended up in such a place. Standing up and being able to see almost nothing, he walked around for a moment.

"Tart, did you know there's a such this as a Predator? Yeah, I think that's what they call him!"

Crap, what a great time to remember something Kish said.

Gritting his teeth, he tried to forget what the older alien had told him.

"And he kills people, alien or not!"

"Shut up, Kish!" he yelled, stopping in one place, paranoid.

"And you know what the fun part is? The Predator eats little boys!"

And with a quick jolt of speed, Tart woke up from his dream—much to Kish's joy. He ran out into the hallway in his pajamas and headed towards Pai's room.

**.**

Lesson learned? Bunnies. Because medicine doesn't do it anymore.


	25. Hot Pockets

January | 25th | 2010

Hot Pockets.

Congratulations! You're going to have diarrhea today!

**.**

"Hey, this is Tart," the short alien said inside of the camera. He turned it towards the kitchen and brought his voice to a mere whisper. "And I'm about to prank my friend Kish. He's always asking me to make him food and I'm sick of it! He asked me to make him a Hot Pocket, so that's what I'm going to do!" Tart positioned the camera and stepped away from it, making sure it zoomed in on the rectangular item of food.

He took the pizza-pie out of it's white packaging, opening up the flaps. "Yeah, I've been saving some old hot sauce! I mean, this stuff is really old, even that grandma Mew won't want to kiss him! It's got to be years old! I saved it for a special occasion!" Tart soaked the pizza puff with the forbidden sauce, then pulled out another container. This time it said 'steak sauce'. "Oh man, this stuff has to be old too! It tastes like peanut butter! I'm not kidding! Kish is going to love this!"

Tart put that sauce on the Hot Pocket as well. He pulled out a can of sardines and anchovies. "Now these are really smelly, just like him when he comes out of the bathroom! He'll love these too!"

Stuffing the ingredients in the pocket, he covered it back up and put it in its white packaging; making sure it looked 'innocent'.

He threw the camera a thumbs up and stuffed the plate in the cabinet above the microwave. Kish walked in just in time—scratching his chest. "Hey, Tart, make me a Hot Pocket before we attack the Mews, eh?"

"Sure."

Tart took out a whole new one, pretending to prepare it and he even put it in the microwave. Kish walked out of the room and Tart immediately made the switch. "Oh yeah, guys! I put a rubber-band around the sink, so he can't even wash the taste out of his mouth!" Giggling to himself, he watched as Kish walked back in.

"Is it done yet?"

"I think so..."

Kish walked towards the microwave and started to swat at the air. "Agh, man there's a lot of flies around here!!" He took out the Hot Pocket ravenously and sunk his teeth into the pizza-pie.

And then it hit him.

"_Oh!!_" Kish gagged. He ran straight to the sink, and when he couldn't lift up the handle he lost all hope and ran straight to the bathroom.

**. **

Lesson learned? It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.


	26. Promises

**A/N:** Doing something new today.

Since I'm kinda in a rut, guys. I just hate writing things that mess with character, huh? And so this is another life lesson in the eyes of Chiharu; something she learned way to late before she made a big promise to write and complete a fic that she new she just couldn't win against. FML.

* * *

January | 26th | 2010

Promises.

You have to keep them, no matter what.

**.**

It was the final battle.

The final struggle against the Mew Mews.

Neither one of them wanted to go through with with—granted Pai, who kept pushing the idea of stopping the Mews once and for all. They had _no _time, and Tart understood that, but why did they have to fight? Even Kish was starting to feel the pains of war. They had fought for so long... Everyday practically, _hoping _to defeat the Mews.

But did they ever win?

Out of all of those minutes, seconds, days, weeks, years—_did they ever win?_

Did they ever come close to victory?

No. Never. Not even once.

So what was going to make this time any different? They didn't have any new plans—no new supplies. They were going to go into this battle with their hearts stuck inside of their throats. Everyone on their planet was counting on them to bring home salvation—that blue ball of a miracle called the Mew Aqua. What good would Mew Aqua do if they brought it back home...?

It would have been tainted with the blood of the Mews. It wouldn't of helped anyone. Everyone on their planet would have been forced to live within the lies of those three's war stories and how they fault with brilliance, dedication, valor... _Honor._

There was no honor in killing.

So as Tart took one last look at the world he was going to leave behind—with his weapons in his hands—he took one last look at the promise he told the people on his planet.

The promise that he had to keep, no matter what.

**.**

Lesson learned? Never make a promise you might not ever be able to keep. Sometimes your 120% isn't going to cut it.


	27. Cellphones

January | 27th | 2010

Cellphones.

They make you look important.

**.**

"Yes, I meant everything I said, Ma. Yeah, I love you too. What? You say I'm not speaking loud enough? But I can hear you just fine! Oh, you're going to really make me repeat it? But Ma, I'm on a very important mission to retrieve the Mew Aqua and save the planet and you're going to make me say it? I'm on the ship!"

Kish saw his opportunity. Tart was wide open.

Pay back.

Creeping slowly inside of the kitchen, Kish slid in smoothy to the chair behind Tart. Tart should have known better than to keep an open cup of water for Kish to manipulate whenever he so chose to. The younger alien was so busy on his new cellphone that he hadn't noticed Kish at all, and with very careful movements, he put his_ gym sock _in Tart's water.

"Yes, Ma. I promise to be a good boy. I love you too," he strained, grabbing his water, oblivious to the fact that there was a sock hanging off the side of it.

He took one sip.

It was all it took to see the damp sock hanging on the side of the cup.

Tart dropped the phone and sputtered all over Kish, much to the older alien's dismay.

"It's war," Kish said, narrowing his eyes.

"It's been war!"

**.**

Lessened learned? If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style!


	28. Firecrackers

January | 27th | 2010

Firecrackers.

Even the gangsters are afraid of them.

**.**

"On the count of three, Tart."

"Kish, if we get caught, we're in big trouble!"

"You said this was war, right? Well lets see if we have the skills to do this," Kish chided. They both were hiding behind a slightly cracked door that led to the bosses room. Deep Blue's room, to be precise. Deep Blue was laid out lethargically on the couch, lost in a real deep sleep.

"Hehe, deep sleep," Kish mumbled to himself playfully, floating in midair. "They're lit, Tart! You better run in there and set them down before you blow off your hand~."

Startled, Tart tried to run carefully into his room and set the firecrackers in front of the couch, but they woefully exploded in Tart's hand. Kish chuckled to himself and teleported away—not wanting to be a part of this prank-gone-wrong. Tart yelped for a second before Deep Blue woke up immediately and tried to duck for cover, knocking a table of over crashing into Tart.

**.**

Lesson learned? Firecrackers are just like guns. Sometimes you mistake them for gunshots.


	29. Toasters

**A/N:** Guys, I'm so tired.

I'm so tired. XD

My lazy ass can't work in this state.

* * *

January | 29th | 2010

Toasters.

Freaks come out at night.

**.**

"Ryou, the toaster isn't worker, nya!" Ichigo exclaimed, playing with the lever that made the toast sit in the toaster. She pressed it down a few more times until she realized that she wouldn't get much more of a response from it.

"It's broken, Ichigo, I told you all that before you started your shift," Ryou sighed, combing his fingers through his hair. "It's been broken all this morning, you'll have to tell the costumers up front that—"

**_POP!_**

Silently, Ichigo took the toast out and walked clumsily towards the front.

What?

But when Ryou wanted some toast, he couldn't get any!!

Ryou cocked an eyebrow, if Ichigo could do it, he could, right? He put two pieces of toast in the toaster and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Agitated, he looked over the toaster, and got hit in the face with two hot pieces of bread.

**.**

Lesson learned? Well, I don't smell anything. Must be your upper-lip, son.


	30. Purple Nurples

January | 30th | 2010

Purple Nurples.

They'll make your nipples fall off.

**.**

"Hey Pai, can I ask you something?" Kish asked, looking up at the older alien. Pai looked back it him, his arms crossed as they walked through the ship.

"Yes, Kish?"

"Would you be able to answer a series of questions under pain?"

Pai cocked an eyebrow. What a peculiar question to ask. "As in, an interrogation?"

The green-haired alien nodded. "Yes! That's what I mean! I was watching television and—" Kish stopped his sentence and quickly grabbed Pai's nipples, his smile stretching across is face in playful amusement.

And then he did the unthinkable.

He twisted them around, making Pai flinch unintentionally.

"Name five cereals, Pai!!"

"W-what!?" Pai stuttered. "Kish, stop with your foolish playing—"

"Do it!" Kish said, tightening his grip. Pai almost fell backwards with that one. It was like he couldn't control anything anymore. He couldn't even teleport! He couldn't think straight enough to do so.

"Cheerios... Wheaties..."

"KELLOGS, BITCH!"

"Coco Puffs, Frosted Flake—Kish get off of me!!" This time, Kish let go, taking off running down the hallway.

"I've got to do this to Tart!"

**.**

Lesson learned? Chiharu did this to her guy friend once. He cried.


End file.
